Who doesn’t know the Queen of all feelings?
Guilt is a topic we are all confronted with, most of us daily. It is especially a hot topic now, New Year has just begun and we made many new resolutions.
Did you too?
Nothing wrong with that but feeling guilty is unnecessary. So how to deal with this tricky feeling?
I want to give you a little example out of my own life:
There was a time, I had been watching a very silly TV Show one episode after another. Its name is “Say Yes To The Dress”. It is about girls going to a bridal shop choosing their wedding dress. All in all it is quite dramatic and obviously feeding the illusion of a dress making you truly happy, healing family and personal issues, and making your dreams come true.
Was I aware of this? Yes, I was.
Did I continue watching the show? Yes, I did.
And I felt so guilty about it.
That is the moment when guilt crawls into your head and slowly takes control over you.
You feel stupid about doing what you do but you don’t stop it.
The feeling of guilt mostly comes because you think that what you do is not “right”, “acceptable”, “honorable” and you should be doing something else instead.
What was the result in my example?
Neither was I able to fully enjoy watching the show nor did I stop watching it.
It is minor things that cause the uncomfortable feeling of guilt in us on a daily basis.
I know I am referring to very little simple things right now, not to major shocking ones like killing somebody where guilt clearly has to be discussed on another level.
However, I think it is those minor things that cause the uncomfortable feeling of guilt in us on a daily basis.
- Eating this one slice of cake even though you swore to yourself you would finally cut sweets out of your diet.
- Sitting in front of TV instead of going to the gym even though you promised yourself you would integrate more physical activity into your life.
- Reading a book on the sofa alone at home instead of going out with friends even though you wanted to become more social again.
Those are all little examples that are actually not a big deal, right?!
But, if you can’t enjoy whatever you are doing in the very moment because you feel guilty, those little examples do get relevant.
What can you do when this kind of guilt raises in your mind and takes over your cells?
Here are some tips which work for me when this kind of guilt raises in my mind and takes over my cells:
- ACCEPT that you have a certain desire!
Be ok with not having the best diet at the very moment. Doing too little sports. Being a bit unsocial.
- FORGIVE yourself!
Don’t judge. Sometimes we are in a phase that we think it is not the most beautiful one to tell proudly in front of our friends and family. And that is ok.
- ENJOY whatever it is you are doing!
What you resist persists!
Know that what you resist persists. The good news is: If you don’t fight against whatever desire you have and rather go with it, according to my experience, it naturally ends – actually, YOU naturally end it – after a certain period of time.
It really is like with that child that only wants to eat rice with ketchup (Gabriel was one of those). And guess what, it ended. He even adores broccoli now.
There is a time for everything!
Thus, trust that there is a time for everything.
For cake, TV, sofa AND for healthy diet, sports, social activity.
Every single moment.
Happy New Year!
P.S. I stopped watching “Say Yes To The Dress” after 3 months and Gabriel wants to emphasize that he doesn’t like ketchup anymore.