Let’s talk about love. Gabriel and I have experienced many challenges in our relationship throughout the years which we want to share with you little by little on our blog. We deeply feel that each challenge holds tremendous potential for growth – both individually and as a couple – and we all can learn so much from each other.
Something that really made our relationship change was the Moment we chose we want to “love with an open hand”.
So, what does it exactly mean?
First of all it is important to say that this philosophy you can really apply to any kind of relationship – not exclusively to the relationship you have with your partner but also on the relationship with your mom, dad, brother, sister, friends…
It is simple which does not mean that it is easy to live by it. There are times Gabriel and I struggle a lot. But even in times of struggle, you can always remind yourself and the other of it and little by little open up again. Like many other things in life, it is a practice.
In order to visualize what “Loving with an open hand” means, I want you to do one thing: Take your right hand, open it with your palm up, facing the sky. Now, imagine somebody pouring water into this hand. In order to keep the water, probably your first reflex is to close the hand. What happens when you do so? You eventually loose all the water. In a second attempt of the experiment just leave the hand open and see what happens. The water stays with you.”
That’s exactly the beauty of “loving with an open hand”.
Of course you can try to keep your partner by controlling certain things like what he/she wears, where he/she goes, who he/she hangs out with. Manipulating. Making him/her dependent. Struggling to hold him/her “tight”. And it probably works for a while.
But in the end, it is everybody’s own free choice if and with whom we want to share our life. And for how long.
We are afraid that we are not enough for our partner – not beautiful enough, not smart enough, not fun enough, not GOOD enough. And by trying to keep somebody we are not rarely creating an illusion. And in the middle of our self-created soap opera we are loosing ourselves. Forget who we truly are. Or hiding it.
However, our fears we can never cure by focusing externally. By trying to influence the outside.
Inner work is needed instead.
Thus, beautiful person, start asking yourself the following today:
Would you not prefer to rather be with somebody that chooses your true you in his/her life voluntarily with his/her whole heart, again and again, rather than artificially create a relationship that in its core is based on fear and control?
Then open your hand!
You are good enough. You deserve it. Heal yourself.