What You Learn From Overthinking – And How To Escape

I am guilty of it, I admit. Overthinking has always been a struggle in my life. I am not quite sure if the probability to be an Over-Thinker is higher when you are born in Germany since we generally tend to analyze everything in a very rational way. Or if it is just a personal issue no matter where you are coming from. Independently from its origin – it creates suffering.
Huge amount of suffering. I surely can tell you this from my personal experience. What I have learnt from almost 28 years of excessive overthinking?

Here are my 5 conclusions and personal method of resolution for you :

        1. Maybe the most important point of all: Overthinking cannot be resolved by more overthinking.

          Sounds simple but in reality it is not. I cannot tell you exactly how many hours I have already spent thinking about my overthinking. Sounds ridiculous but is the truth. So please, do not try to resolve overthinking by thinking even more about it.

          Instead…

        2. Tell somebody about your head circus.

          I cannot guarantee that people won’t look at you as if you were crazy. Therefore, it may be better to choose a close friend to start off this kind of conversation. But I really noticed that it helps talking about what’s going on in your head. Especially when you are in a moment that you cannot escape the thought carousel. Talking about it makes you realize after seconds (or hopefully at least after some minutes) that your thoughts are absolutely repetitive and you can and should stop NOW. Somehow I find it easier to interrupt my thought process while or after talking to somebody about it. Probably because speaking out loud your thoughts might either – make you realize how unnecessary they are or – make you get a totally different view on your “issue” or – give you a hint on how to solve a certain topic that’s on your mind or all of the three above. And most importantly, it makes it possible to at least try to let go because you realize, it does not serve you any purpose anymore.

          Which leads to the next conclusion…

        3. Overthinking consists of repetitive thoughts.

          Unfortunately, yes. We do not have all the time new amazing thoughts that are worth to occupy our mind and invade our daily life. Most of the time, when you are an Over-Thinker, you are having the same thoughts over and over again. Normally, it is about a certain topic, moment, conflict, something somebody has said or not said etc. that you cannot let go. So you are thinking about it over and over again, trying to come to any conclusion or thinking about what might should have been said instead of what has been said. Basically, you are trying to change the past which… please excuse the honesty… is not possible anyway.

          Which might make you painfully realize that…

        4. Overthinking makes you miss the moment.

          And that is the saddest conclusion of all. Overthinking your past or your future makes you totally miss the moment. The only “real” thing we truly have to live and experience. While we are thinking over and over about what has happened, should have happened or will happen we absolutely miss what is going on around us at this very moment. The people that are passing by, the conversation we are having with our partner, the wind that is touching our hair, the sound of the birds, the smell of a freshly cooked meal… So many potential experiences we miss because we cannot let go of our repetitive thought.

          So,…

        5. Let go of your repetitive thought and move on.

          How to do so? My approach within the last months has been the following:
          a) Recognize that you are overthinking.
          b) Identify the main topic that you are currently thinking over and over.
          c) Analyze what might not be resolved yet. If it is difficult to do so alone or you tend to overthink whilst analyzing (very likely), do it together with a friend.
          d) Make inner peace with the thought. The mantra that helps me a lot when I am thinking repeatedly of past situations is “Everything that should have been said or done in that very past moment was said and done exactly how it was supposed to be”. Realize that afterwards it is easy to analyze a past situation with a different perspective. But some things that you wish you had said or done were not supposed to be said and done in that very moment. Because if it was so you would have said or done it, right?
          e) Whatever you were still holding on, let it go.
          f) Move on.
          g) How? By entering the moment. How? By listening, feeling, smelling, hearing what is going on around you.
          h) Feel the inner sense of calmness when achieved g) – also if it was only for a tiny second.
          i) SMILE, because you did it! At least for a moment. j) Overthinking again? Start over with a)

          So please, my beloved Over-Thinkers out there: Neither beat yourself up for being an Over-Thinker nor justify it as a given attribute of your personality. As in so many other things that show up repeatedly in our life there lies a lesson within. Do not fight it. Instead, see it as a practice to become more conscious, a tool to get to know yourself better little by little, and a way to enter the very Moment as often as possible.

          Heart + Live Love Laugh

14 thoughts on “What You Learn From Overthinking – And How To Escape”

  1. I am the worlds worst overthinker and I think this is an amzing way for people to exercise their minds and to allow themselves to see, smell and feel what is right in front of them. Thank you for your lovely words and your advice…miss u!!

  2. This video is so amazing!!! You guys did an incredible job!!! Chris & I love it so much!!! Feels like freedom, feels like living, feels like you guys!!!! Beautiful!!!!? It makes us so happy we love you guys!!! Lauren & Chris

  3. thanks for sharing this. a good read on this topic is ‘the power of now’ by eckhart tolle. maybe you find it useful 🙂
    keep living the moment. what you guys are doing is great. so inspiring!

    1. Thank you so much Stefanie! And yes, ‘the power of now’ and Eckhart Tolle in general is an awesome read and so helpful. Always reminding us on what’s really important: To live the very Moment. Sending much love your way!

    1. Oi Adriana, obrigada pela sua mensagem linda. Já escutei falar sobre o Retorno de Saturno mas agora que você mencionou quero e vou entrar mais profundo no tópico. Muito obrigada!
      Beijo enorme,
      Katinha

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